The 12 LoD Days of Christmas
by Haryuu no Hanekata
Summary: A little late, but please read and review anyway. Thanks!


Authoress: *with magical, tranportational duck* I don't own the LoD characters, although I wish I did...First thing I'd do would be to seriously maim and kill both Dart and Shana...ahem! ANYWAYS...Duck, do your thing!  
  
Duck: Quack!! *magically teleports LoD cast to the...place...*  
  
LoD Cast: WTF?!?!?  
  
Authoress: OMG!! LOL!!! Hee hee...that's fun! Alright, PLACES!!  
  
Dart: Derrr....what're we doin'?  
  
Shana: Save me Dart! *faints*  
  
Authoress: *resists extremely strong urge to maim Shana*  
  
Stereo: I'll do my thing! *starts up 'The 12 Days of Christmas' tune*  
  
Audience: (deadpan) Yay.  
  
Authoress: You're all so enthusiastic, aren't you...?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
DART: *picking his nose* On da ferst day uv Christmas, mah trew luv gave ta me...one Divine Dragoon Spirit...  
  
(You can tell that I HATE Dart...)  
  
LENUS: (who is miraculously revived from the dead) On the second day of Christmas, my true love *waves ay Lloyd* gave to me...two lovin' Winglies!  
  
Dart: And a Divine Dragoon Spirit...*scratches his butt*  
  
LLOYD: (looking slightly worried) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...three Divine Moon Objects...  
  
Lenus: *batts eyes at Lloyd* Two luvin' Winglies!  
  
Dart: And a Divine Dragoon Spirit...*drools for no reason*  
  
KONGOL: *bashes his way through the door* On fourth day of Christmas, human gave to Kongol...four loinclothes...  
  
Lloyd: *backing away from Lenus* Three...Divine Moon Objects...aren't you dead? Aren't I dead?  
  
Lenus: Course not! We're two luvin' Winglies!  
  
Dart: *stares at lint on the floor* And a Divine Dragoon Spirit...  
  
SHANA: On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love, Dart, gave to me...fiiiiiiiiive piggyback rides! *waves to Dart, who is oblivious*  
  
Authoress: *under breath* Cuz she's helpless, useless, and a slut...!  
  
Kongol: Four furry loinclothes...  
  
Lloyd: Three Divine Moon Objects...*holds up Dragon Buster to keep Lenus at bay*  
  
Lenus: *makes kissy-faces* Two luvin' Winglies...c'mere, shnookums...!!  
  
Dart: *pulls a wedgie* And a...what was it again...?  
  
ALBERT: *comes in with legion of loyal subjects, who all hold books* On the sixth day of Christmas, Kwanzaa and Hanukkah (I hope those are right), my wife helped me get...six giant libraries, which I took by force...hee hee hee....  
  
Shana: *falls down cuz she's STUPID* Five piggyback rides...Dart, CARRY ME~!  
  
Kongol: Human gave Kongol four loinclothes...Kongol need new ones...Kongol soil special loinclothes...  
  
Lloyd: *up in a tree, throwing coconuts at Lenus* Three Divine Moon Objects...die, witch!!!  
  
Lenus: *giggles* Two luvin' Winglies...I so enjoy the hunt!! *begins to climb up tree*  
  
Dart: *is passed out from a flying coconut*  
  
MERU: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true luv Guraha (I think...) gave to me....seven @$$-WHOOPIN' hammers!!  
  
Albert: *grins as his subjects wheel in more books* Six giant libraries...eat this, UTE!!!  
  
Shana: *runs to Dart* CARRY ME!!!  
  
Kongol: Kongol need four new loinclothes...Kongol wet bed...  
  
Lloyd: *screaming* THREE DIVINE MOON OBJECTS!!! OMG!!!  
  
Lenus: Hey babe...wanna be two luvin' Winglies?  
  
Dart: *revived* Hey, Shana! *is promptly hit by flying semi*  
  
Authoress: Oops! How did THAT happen? Heheheheheheh....*innocent smile*  
  
QUEEN THERESA: *has on white lab coat* On the eighth day of Christmas, science gave to me...eight Sacred Sisters!  
  
Miranda: How'd that happen?!  
  
Queen Theresa: Cloning!  
  
Miranda: *passes out*  
  
Meru: Seven HU-MUNGO hammers, baby!!  
  
Albert: *has subjects do Sacred Book Dance(tm)* Six..heheheheh...GIANT libraries...  
  
Shana: DART!!! *is hit by flying toilet*  
  
Kongol: Kongol need GoodNites...  
  
Lloyd: GET THIS WOMAN OFFA ME!! I need those Divine Moon Objects to get rid of her!!!  
  
Lenus: Oh, sweetie!! I wuv you!!! *snuggles* We're two luvin' Winglies!!  
  
Dart: *passed out*  
  
MIRANDA#2: On the ninth day of Christmas, my creator gave to me...nine knights to beat up on...  
  
Queen Theresa: Eight Sacred Sisters!! Now, I'll move on to Gigantos...  
  
Meru: Seven hammers!! Now, where is some helpless victim...? Hey, Shana!!  
  
Albert: *with warpaint on, doing Sacred Book Dance(tm)* Six libraries to WORSHIP!!  
  
Shana: *wakes up, sees Meru* DART, SAVE ME!! *WHOMP!!*  
  
Kongol: *is escorted by Queen Theresa to cloning lab*  
  
Lloyd: *has rabid, trained hyenas attacking Lenus* Three...Divine Moon Objects...kill!!!  
  
Lenus: *blasts them with Winglie magic* You're mine now, precious!!  
  
Dart: *is run over by Albert's subjects who are doing the Sacred Book Dance(tm)*  
  
LAVITZ: *is also revived, somehow* On the tenth day of Christmas, Zachwell gave to me...ten fruity man-hugs...*looks at paper* WTF?!?!?  
  
Miranda#2: Nine weakling knights...to torture...*twitches*  
  
Queen Theresa: *back from cloning lab* Eight Sacred Sisters!  
  
Meru: WHOO! Seven hammers!! Oh ya!! BOOYAKA!!  
  
Albert: *sitting on throne of books* Six libraries...my brain needs to feed...  
  
Shana: *is being beaten by Meru*  
  
Kongol#15: *sits on Dart* Now, my bladder has been emptied and fixed by the fabulous Dr. Theresa...  
  
Lloyd: *is gone*  
  
Lenus: *is gone, to find Lloyd*  
  
Dart: *is pissed on by Kongol#15* (screaming) ACID PISS!!!  
  
HASCHEL: On the eleventh day of Christmas, fate gave to me...eleven dates with Rose! WHOO!!!  
  
Lavitz: Do I really WANT ten fruity man-hugs...?  
  
Albert: (from his throne) HI LAVITZ!!  
  
Lavitz: HI AL!!  
  
Miranda#2: *from torture room* Nine knights!! OOPS! Make that eight...  
  
Queen Theresa: Eight Sacred Sisters!! Now, where're those Winglies...?  
  
Meru: *beats Shana to a bloody pulp* These seven new hammers sure came in handy...*grins*  
  
Albert: *reads his 973459759375937th book* Six libraries...it seems as though just six aren't enough anymore...  
  
Shana: *is being beaten* OUCH!! DART, SAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEE-- *WHOMP!!*  
  
Meru: Shut up!!  
  
Kongol#15: My bladder has healed completely, and thanks to Dr. Theresa, my brain was replaced and cloned...*goes off on technical shpeel*  
  
Lloyd: *runs screaming past the singers*  
  
Lenus: *hops along merrily* (think Pepe LePew)  
  
Dart: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! *is melting*  
  
DIVINE DRAGON: Roar roar roar roar roar ROAR roar rrrrrrooooooaaaaaaaaarrrrrr hack, spit, snarl, roar roar roar....ROAR roar roar roar roar! *waves at the camera*  
  
Random Bonzai Tree, Skilled in Translation: He said, on the twelveth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, twelve giant pairs of sunglasses! *waves at the camera*  
  
Haschel: Eleven dates with Rose...Rosie, honey, come hhhhhheeeeeeerrrrrrreeeee!!!  
  
Rose: *promptly kills Haschel, and goes off to be dead with Zieg*  
  
Lavitz: *sits on mini-throne-o-books(tm)* Ten fruity man-hugs...whatever.  
  
Miranda#2: Nine knights...well, no...more like six...  
  
Queen Theresa: Eight Sacred Sisters! *whips out giant glasses to look at a petri dish*  
  
Meru: *stops beating Shana, whips out white lab coat* Seven hammers, and a scholarship to Dr. Theresa's Lab o' Cloning!!  
  
Albert: *also has white lab coat* Six libraries, and authorized access to all medical books in the lab...heheheheheheheh......  
  
Shana: *is eaten by Divine Dragon*  
  
Divine Dragon: *belches* Roar roar roar roar roar...spit, hack, gobble, snarf, spew.  
  
Bonzai Tree: Eeeewww....nasty.  
  
Kongol#15: Cranioscopically speaking, the distance between my eyes and forehead...*goes off on tangant*  
  
Lloyd: *trips* OH SHI---  
  
Lenus: *tackle-hugs Lloyd* Now we're two luvin' Winglies!  
  
Lloyd: Oh. My. God.  
  
Dart: *is a hole in the floor*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Divine Dragon: Roar roar roar.  
  
Bonzai Tree: Please read and review.  
  
Authoress, with Assistant: That went remarkably well... 


End file.
